Saturday, February 23, 2008
Saturday afternoon terror.
The freezing rain has begun. Annika and I have eaten the last of the cheese. Pray for us.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
In flagrante canine.
Consider this story from my local paper.
I'm wondering if red state Kansas journalist felt the need to point out it was a female dog. Because having sex with a male dog would be gay.
I'm wondering if red state Kansas journalist felt the need to point out it was a female dog. Because having sex with a male dog would be gay.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Silly love songs.
In honor of Valentine's Day (or as Annika would say, "Valenstime's Day,") I've put together a list of ten of my favorite songs about love...some happy...some not...some...whatever.
In no particular order, here goes. Hope you have fun wasting a few minutes of your Valentine's Day.
1. "Jersey Girl" - Tom Waits
Growing up in New Jersey, I always assumed “Jersey Girl” was written by Bruce Springsteen. Bruce was the f’in’ BOSS, so it would have been blasphemy to question authorship of the second official New Jersey state song (the first being “Born to Run”). It wasn’t until after I moved away that I learned Tom Waits had written this song and that his version was so much better than Bruce’s. That bit Broooce sings about “droppin’ the brat off at your mom’s?” Not in the original.
But let me be honest here. Tom Waits wasn’t singing this song about Jersey girls like me. Jersey girls like me were talking about how clever Woody Allen movies were and figuring out who had the best SAT scores and would probably get into Harvard, Brown, AND Yale.
My friend Bethany’s family had a beautiful house on the beach front in Normandy Beach, NJ, where we used to spend a lot of time during the summers. And that was nice. Five miles down the road and some culture shock later, however, I learned Seaside “Sleaze-side” Heights boardwalk was the essence of what summer in New Jersey was about. There were games of skee-ball and the smell of zeppoles, and sights of gold chain-festooned guidos in tank tops. Bethany won all the prizes at the booths, amassing huge quantities of cheap prizes like mirrors with rock band insignias on them. Every square inch of wall space in Bethany's room was covered with this kind of boardwalk booty. When I would come to visit, I would sleep in the pull out bed in Bethany’s room, surrounded by the likes of Van Halen, Night Ranger, and Pat Benatar, and be lulled to sleep by the sound of the waves crashing on the beach and the smell of salt air. Down the shore, everything was all right.
When I was pregnant with Annika, I spent a lot of time listening to Tom Waits. When “Jersey Girl” would come on, I would rock in my office chair and hold my belly and sing to my baby. I think it was in those moments that I really fell in love with Annika and realized I couldn’t wait to meet this spirited little girl who was kicking me from the inside. I’d take my baby to the carnival. I’d take her on all the rides.
Favorite line: “And I call your name, I can’t sleep at night”
2. "Just Like Honey" - Jesus and Mary Chain
“Just Like Honey” is a hazy, sensual, fuzzed-out trip that makes time slow to a crawl. I always wonder who Jim Reid is singing about.
I can go on about how the Jesus and Mary Chain owes huge musical debts for their sound to Phil Spector, the Velvet Underground, Jimi Hendrix, and Bo Diddley, among others, but when my friend Erik said recently that the Jesus and Mary Chain “sounds like fucking,” now that may be all that needs to be said.
Favorite line: “Listen to the girl as she takes on half the world”
3. "I Want You" - Marvin Gaye
I should probably admit that I heard this song first on a Madonna ballads album. I didn't heard the original until about a year ago while watching the Jim Jarmusch film Broken Flowers. Ok, so better late than never.
It's hot, very hot...although the only video I could find is decidedly not.
Favorite line: “Don’t you wanna care...ain’t it lonely out there?”
4. "I Want You Babe" - Sonny and Cher
Yes, it’s really corny. The hippieish sentimentality and naïveté of “love conquers all.” Sonny and Cher being the craziest looking couple you’ve ever seen. And the oboe…how insane is the oboe in a pop song? At least I think it’s an oboe.
After Sonny Bono died, I saw a clip on the news of Cher giving his eulogy. She was sobbing, completely heartbroken, talking about how extraordinary her ex was. She said that in the moment they met, she could see Sonny perfectly, but that everyone around him was in this fuzzy, soft focus. I’m sure Mary Bono was grinding her teeth.
Sonny and Cher didn’t make it as the wisecracking misfit duo, but they obviously loved each other until Sonny died.
Favorite line: “So let them say your hair’s too long. I don’t care, with you I can’t go wrong.”
5. “Let My Love Open the Door” – Pete Townshend
Pete Townshend strikes me as a complete dick, but this song melts my often cynical heart. I could even fall in love with Pete if he sang it to me. This alternate mix is very, very sweet.
Favorite line: “When everything feels all over, when everybody seems unkind, I’ll give you a four-leaf clover, take all the worry out of your mind.”
6. “Half Ghost” – Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
This "band" is just one guy singing, backed by a distorted, cheapo-sounding keyboard. Casiotone guy sings about trying to take solace watching a show at a club, but he’s really thinking of the girl who’s done him wrong. This soundtrack for 21 year-old, broken-hearted hipsters makes me go "aww." Thank God, though, I don't have to drive long distances with a busted rearview mirror. I can't live all indie like that anymore.
Favorite line: “Just put everything on a song. Just put everything on some song on the radio.”
7. “Absolute Beginners” – David Bowie
No, it’s not “Heroes” or one of those really big, important songs that Bowie wrote when he was engaged in louche behavior in Berlin, and in the overall Bowie chronology, it’s a mere step away from jazzin’ for Blue Jean. But “Absolute Beginners” is so sweet and sentimental it makes me grin and sticks in my head all day.
If I ever get to meet Bowie, would it be considered ok to hug him for this one?
Favorite line: “I absolutely love you. But we're absolute beginners.”
8. "Pure" - Lightning Seeds
This was made before “twee” was “twee”. Now we’d say, wow, that singer Ian Broudie is really twee. But in a good way, mind you.
Back when this came out, I was thinking, “Ian, you totally ripped off the solo from ‘Love Vigilantes’ by New Order.” If I’d said that to him, he probably would have said, “No shit. That was intentional.” And I would have been like, “Oh, that’s so cool.”
It takes a secure man to sing about moonglow and sleigh rides and rainbows and sparkles.
Distributed worldwide as mandatory listening, this song might even be able to bring about world peace. Can’t you hear birds tweeting and see rainbows spontaneously painting the sky and world leaders embracing? I can even see my parents hugging Bill Clinton and inviting him over for pot roast. Mmm…maybe not.
I'm going to go frolic with pixies and sprinkle stardust right now.
Favorite line: “Love is the truth I realize, not a stream of pretty lies to use us up and waste our time.”
9. “Lover I Don’t Have to Love” – Bright Eyes
I have a theory about bands. Pretty much EVERY band has a song that fits in the “it’s a tough life being a rocker” song category. There's “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” “Faithfully,” “Wanted: Dead or Alive”… even Casiotone for the Painfully Alone has one called "Jeane, If You're Ever in Portland."
It doesn’t matter how cheesy or how hip you may be, if you’re a rocker, you have to sing about how it’s actually tough to be out there meeting the ladies, getting free drugs, and traveling, with no responsibility other than showing up at the next gig. I think this is probably for the benefit of allaying the fears of the people at home who are doing the whole day-to-day thing and asking, “So, you’re telling me it’s really not fun banging 3 chicks a night?”
Getting to Bright Eyes…
For a while, I railed against the very notion of critically acclaimed Bright Eyes. There were many valid and important reasons to be anti, like, “Conor Oberst is Winona Ryder’s current boytoy” and “Conor looks like kind of a jerk on magazine covers.” I finally agreed to give some Bright Eyes a listen and had to admit I really did like some of it.
“Lover I Don’t Have to Love” is a song in the “it’s a tough life being a rocker” category, except in this case, it feels true and right and sad. If you ever had angst about intimacy and thought you'd waste some time with someone you didn't love, but never had the ability to set down your feelings on the subject to music (complete with string crescendo) Conor Oberst has done it for you.
Maybe Conor was singing about Winona?
Frankly, I'm amazed there's a karaoke clip of this. What a way to clear the house.
Favorite line: “I want a girl who’s too sad to give a fuck”
10. “Elevator Love Letter” - Stars
Out of all the recent bands to emerge from Canada like the New Pornographers, Broken Social Scene, Arcade Fire, etc., this band is my favorite.
I first heard “Elevator Love Letter” almost five years ago and it’s still one of my favorite songs. And now it’s one of Annika’s favorites. She invariably asks for it when she gets in the car.
The song, featuring alternating boy/girl vocals, is like the song equivalent of a Rock Hudson and Doris Day movie with the split screen. Neither rascally boy nor rich career girl with the high heels knows how to love. Will the fates smile upon this ill-matched duo after the song is over? No idea, but I really hope so.
Favorite line: “I don’t think she’ll know that I’m saying goodbye.”
Happy Valenstime's Day, everybody! Go eat some conversation hearts.
In no particular order, here goes. Hope you have fun wasting a few minutes of your Valentine's Day.
1. "Jersey Girl" - Tom Waits
Growing up in New Jersey, I always assumed “Jersey Girl” was written by Bruce Springsteen. Bruce was the f’in’ BOSS, so it would have been blasphemy to question authorship of the second official New Jersey state song (the first being “Born to Run”). It wasn’t until after I moved away that I learned Tom Waits had written this song and that his version was so much better than Bruce’s. That bit Broooce sings about “droppin’ the brat off at your mom’s?” Not in the original.
But let me be honest here. Tom Waits wasn’t singing this song about Jersey girls like me. Jersey girls like me were talking about how clever Woody Allen movies were and figuring out who had the best SAT scores and would probably get into Harvard, Brown, AND Yale.
My friend Bethany’s family had a beautiful house on the beach front in Normandy Beach, NJ, where we used to spend a lot of time during the summers. And that was nice. Five miles down the road and some culture shock later, however, I learned Seaside “Sleaze-side” Heights boardwalk was the essence of what summer in New Jersey was about. There were games of skee-ball and the smell of zeppoles, and sights of gold chain-festooned guidos in tank tops. Bethany won all the prizes at the booths, amassing huge quantities of cheap prizes like mirrors with rock band insignias on them. Every square inch of wall space in Bethany's room was covered with this kind of boardwalk booty. When I would come to visit, I would sleep in the pull out bed in Bethany’s room, surrounded by the likes of Van Halen, Night Ranger, and Pat Benatar, and be lulled to sleep by the sound of the waves crashing on the beach and the smell of salt air. Down the shore, everything was all right.
When I was pregnant with Annika, I spent a lot of time listening to Tom Waits. When “Jersey Girl” would come on, I would rock in my office chair and hold my belly and sing to my baby. I think it was in those moments that I really fell in love with Annika and realized I couldn’t wait to meet this spirited little girl who was kicking me from the inside. I’d take my baby to the carnival. I’d take her on all the rides.
Favorite line: “And I call your name, I can’t sleep at night”
2. "Just Like Honey" - Jesus and Mary Chain
“Just Like Honey” is a hazy, sensual, fuzzed-out trip that makes time slow to a crawl. I always wonder who Jim Reid is singing about.
I can go on about how the Jesus and Mary Chain owes huge musical debts for their sound to Phil Spector, the Velvet Underground, Jimi Hendrix, and Bo Diddley, among others, but when my friend Erik said recently that the Jesus and Mary Chain “sounds like fucking,” now that may be all that needs to be said.
Favorite line: “Listen to the girl as she takes on half the world”
3. "I Want You" - Marvin Gaye
I should probably admit that I heard this song first on a Madonna ballads album. I didn't heard the original until about a year ago while watching the Jim Jarmusch film Broken Flowers. Ok, so better late than never.
It's hot, very hot...although the only video I could find is decidedly not.
Favorite line: “Don’t you wanna care...ain’t it lonely out there?”
4. "I Want You Babe" - Sonny and Cher
Yes, it’s really corny. The hippieish sentimentality and naïveté of “love conquers all.” Sonny and Cher being the craziest looking couple you’ve ever seen. And the oboe…how insane is the oboe in a pop song? At least I think it’s an oboe.
After Sonny Bono died, I saw a clip on the news of Cher giving his eulogy. She was sobbing, completely heartbroken, talking about how extraordinary her ex was. She said that in the moment they met, she could see Sonny perfectly, but that everyone around him was in this fuzzy, soft focus. I’m sure Mary Bono was grinding her teeth.
Sonny and Cher didn’t make it as the wisecracking misfit duo, but they obviously loved each other until Sonny died.
Favorite line: “So let them say your hair’s too long. I don’t care, with you I can’t go wrong.”
5. “Let My Love Open the Door” – Pete Townshend
Pete Townshend strikes me as a complete dick, but this song melts my often cynical heart. I could even fall in love with Pete if he sang it to me. This alternate mix is very, very sweet.
Favorite line: “When everything feels all over, when everybody seems unkind, I’ll give you a four-leaf clover, take all the worry out of your mind.”
6. “Half Ghost” – Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
This "band" is just one guy singing, backed by a distorted, cheapo-sounding keyboard. Casiotone guy sings about trying to take solace watching a show at a club, but he’s really thinking of the girl who’s done him wrong. This soundtrack for 21 year-old, broken-hearted hipsters makes me go "aww." Thank God, though, I don't have to drive long distances with a busted rearview mirror. I can't live all indie like that anymore.
Favorite line: “Just put everything on a song. Just put everything on some song on the radio.”
7. “Absolute Beginners” – David Bowie
No, it’s not “Heroes” or one of those really big, important songs that Bowie wrote when he was engaged in louche behavior in Berlin, and in the overall Bowie chronology, it’s a mere step away from jazzin’ for Blue Jean. But “Absolute Beginners” is so sweet and sentimental it makes me grin and sticks in my head all day.
If I ever get to meet Bowie, would it be considered ok to hug him for this one?
Favorite line: “I absolutely love you. But we're absolute beginners.”
8. "Pure" - Lightning Seeds
This was made before “twee” was “twee”. Now we’d say, wow, that singer Ian Broudie is really twee. But in a good way, mind you.
Back when this came out, I was thinking, “Ian, you totally ripped off the solo from ‘Love Vigilantes’ by New Order.” If I’d said that to him, he probably would have said, “No shit. That was intentional.” And I would have been like, “Oh, that’s so cool.”
It takes a secure man to sing about moonglow and sleigh rides and rainbows and sparkles.
Distributed worldwide as mandatory listening, this song might even be able to bring about world peace. Can’t you hear birds tweeting and see rainbows spontaneously painting the sky and world leaders embracing? I can even see my parents hugging Bill Clinton and inviting him over for pot roast. Mmm…maybe not.
I'm going to go frolic with pixies and sprinkle stardust right now.
Favorite line: “Love is the truth I realize, not a stream of pretty lies to use us up and waste our time.”
9. “Lover I Don’t Have to Love” – Bright Eyes
I have a theory about bands. Pretty much EVERY band has a song that fits in the “it’s a tough life being a rocker” song category. There's “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” “Faithfully,” “Wanted: Dead or Alive”… even Casiotone for the Painfully Alone has one called "Jeane, If You're Ever in Portland."
It doesn’t matter how cheesy or how hip you may be, if you’re a rocker, you have to sing about how it’s actually tough to be out there meeting the ladies, getting free drugs, and traveling, with no responsibility other than showing up at the next gig. I think this is probably for the benefit of allaying the fears of the people at home who are doing the whole day-to-day thing and asking, “So, you’re telling me it’s really not fun banging 3 chicks a night?”
Getting to Bright Eyes…
For a while, I railed against the very notion of critically acclaimed Bright Eyes. There were many valid and important reasons to be anti, like, “Conor Oberst is Winona Ryder’s current boytoy” and “Conor looks like kind of a jerk on magazine covers.” I finally agreed to give some Bright Eyes a listen and had to admit I really did like some of it.
“Lover I Don’t Have to Love” is a song in the “it’s a tough life being a rocker” category, except in this case, it feels true and right and sad. If you ever had angst about intimacy and thought you'd waste some time with someone you didn't love, but never had the ability to set down your feelings on the subject to music (complete with string crescendo) Conor Oberst has done it for you.
Maybe Conor was singing about Winona?
Frankly, I'm amazed there's a karaoke clip of this. What a way to clear the house.
Favorite line: “I want a girl who’s too sad to give a fuck”
10. “Elevator Love Letter” - Stars
Out of all the recent bands to emerge from Canada like the New Pornographers, Broken Social Scene, Arcade Fire, etc., this band is my favorite.
I first heard “Elevator Love Letter” almost five years ago and it’s still one of my favorite songs. And now it’s one of Annika’s favorites. She invariably asks for it when she gets in the car.
The song, featuring alternating boy/girl vocals, is like the song equivalent of a Rock Hudson and Doris Day movie with the split screen. Neither rascally boy nor rich career girl with the high heels knows how to love. Will the fates smile upon this ill-matched duo after the song is over? No idea, but I really hope so.
Favorite line: “I don’t think she’ll know that I’m saying goodbye.”
Happy Valenstime's Day, everybody! Go eat some conversation hearts.
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